Getting a haircut the other day I was commiserating with the lady cutting my hair on our age (mid-50s) and my grey. She said that she colored her hair blond to cover up the grey and we talked about that for a couple of minutes. The she said that it wasn't the grey hair that bothered her, it was her bags.
I wanted to complement her by telling her she looked great, that I couldn't tell what she was talking about, and all that, but I stopped and didn't do it. I felt very guilty because she was fishing hard for the complement but I didn't give it! But my fear of messing up the complement prevented me from taking the shot and making her day.
It's sad how political correctness has helped lead us to this place. But it isn't just political correctness, it's scars that I bear from complements I've given in the past. So many times I've tried to complement people and they pooh-pooh the comment, saying that it's not true or something. And one time when I told a family member that it looked like she had lost weight she replied, "I've been told that all day, it's just my big breasts!". That one messed me up and I've been afraid to complement her ever since.
But I continue to try. When I was growing up I listened to a lot of griping and complaining, and at one point I was told by my mother that I was the Emperor of gripers. I've changed a lot since then, and I am known as a very encouraging person. I still find it tough to complement people, especially women, but I think we should all try and practice the old guidance: If you can't say anything nice about someone don't say anything at all.
