Headphones and bubbles

So many people wear headphones and wireless headphones and earpieces. They've disappeared inside their bubble and only take the headphones out when they have to. And I am right there with them. I enjoy it inside my own bubble.

But I fear for the future of our society where the only interaction that we'll have is when we take our heads out of our bubble when someone is interfering with our bubble to yell at someone because they're in our way.

The American sentiment used to be don't tread on me. Now it seems to be don't get in my way.

We want to do what we want when we want to do it. More and more we don't own anything that we want the world available to us. We want to be able to speak into thin air and have food delivered to our door or have people rush in to set up furniture that we purchased online. And with internet control over our doors we want people showing up at our door and walking in unannounced to take our dogs out for walks because were busy enslaving ourselves to "the man". All along we filter out the junk we don't want to see or be part of and stick with what makes us happy in our dopamine-fueled bubble.

People in Ted talks have been sounding the warning about the filters that Internet companies are setting up for us. Marketers love what's happening because it's like fish in a barrel - they don't even need to shoot the fish in the barrel they just need to reach down and scooped them up because the fish are delivering everything to them.

We need to learn how to step out of our bubbles and live outside of our bubbles most of the time and only enjoy our bubbles as a luxury or as part of the smoothing the way to getting what we want. And we need to work on opening our bubbles to others so that we can better understand each other and improve our "culture" in the melting pot we call America.

Walking at work

When I had an office job in the early 2000s I would make a point of getting outside and walking around the parking lot once every day as long as it wasn't raining. It was refreshing and helped me clear my head. I took a lot of ribbing from co-workers that thought it was stupid or too hot but I continued walking. I enjoyed it!

Now I see lots of people out there walking around the parking lot. I see millennials, people younger than them, and many of the people that made fun of out there now.

I find it amusing to have been ahead of my time with this!

Complementing Women

Getting a haircut the other day I was commiserating with the lady cutting my hair on our age (mid-50s) and my grey. She said that she colored her hair blond to cover up the grey and we talked about that for a couple of minutes. The she said that it wasn't the grey hair that bothered her, it was her bags.

I wanted to complement her by telling her she looked great, that I couldn't tell what she was talking about, and all that, but I stopped and didn't do it. I felt very guilty because she was fishing hard for the complement but I didn't give it! But my fear of messing up the complement prevented me from taking the shot and making her day.

It's sad how political correctness has helped lead us to this place. But it isn't just political correctness, it's scars that I bear from complements I've given in the past. So many times I've tried to complement people and they pooh-pooh the comment, saying that it's not true or something. And one time when I told a family member that it looked like she had lost weight she replied, "I've been told that all day, it's just my big breasts!". That one messed me up and I've been afraid to complement her ever since.

But I continue to try. When I was growing up I listened to a lot of griping and complaining, and at one point I was told by my mother that I was the Emperor of gripers. I've changed a lot since then, and I am known as a very encouraging person. I still find it tough to complement people, especially women, but I think we should all try and practice the old guidance: If you can't say anything nice about someone don't say anything at all.

Sea of teaching

One of the greatest things about the age we're in right now is that knowledge is available everywhere. Through the internet we have access to lots of instant knowledge, college-level teaching, and anything else we may or may not need to know.Â

In that is a temptation to just relax and enjoy having a library with is everywhere. I find myself more and more not being able to answer questions instantly and saying "I'll look that up" or "I'll send you a link". Then I rush to search the web (less Google more DuckDuckGo now) and reply.Â

The temptation to coast is there in self-improvement, too. Self-proclaimed gurus are sharing their knowledge in the hope that you'll pay them for deeper knowledge and direct access to them. It's amazing and scary at the same time.Â

The internet is fracturing (Balkanizing?) as both governments and the tech giants struggle to control the glut of information on the web. I'm not looking forward to getting the "no access for you" message once walls based on our beliefs and opinions go up.

I'm trying to focus on improving myself a little each day. And to focus on my weak areas while utilizing my strengths. I hope you are, too.Â

Bathrooms and Gender

I have to admit something: Since the controversy of guys transitioning to girls being allowed to use the women's restroom started I have used the women's room a couple of times. One was because I really had to go and some guy was parked in the men's room; the other time I just wanted to do it to see if anyone would stop me.

It's sad that we have to preface more and more conversations with our personal preferences in clothing, thoughts, and sex. But here I go: I am a heterosexual male that enjoys wearing men's clothing, I think a lot about how women look, and I love to have sex with my female wife of 30+ years.

When I need to urinate or defecate while away from home I prefer to get in, do my business, and get out. I don't really like having other people in the restroom when I am using it but understand that in a larger facility other people will be in the room.

I don't really want to think about things too much, I just want to relieve myself and move on.

I think that Starbucks handled this whole thing best - all the bathrooms are single-holers and can be used by any paying customer. (Oops, another subject...)

But if it's a multi-hole restroom I don't think I'd complain too much if a woman came strolling in to use one of the stalls. The problems would start when she complained about the penises she saw while looking around as she strolled to and from the stall and while washing her hands afterwards.

She shouldn't be looking around! Guys learn this early - don't peek over the wall while at the urinal, don't look in occupied stalls, all of that. If you're in a place where men are exposing themselves you shouldn't complain when me men expose themselves.

Same thing with women! If a guy walks into a women's restroom and discovers the lounge area with couches and a microwave don't be surprised when guys want to take a break with some privacy like the women get.

If you're in between, transitioning, unsure, curious, or whatever just get in, relieve yourself, and get out. Don't make it a big deal!

Now if children are present the rules change somewhat. Steer clear of the children, don't look at them if yo can help it, and be ready to report their status to the mother or father standing just outside the door. Try to take advantage of them or express yourself to them and you're wishing the wrath of the community, not just the parent.

So to sum it up: get in, do your business, and get out. If you're trying to make a statement do it after I leave.